December 2022
December 2022
December Holiday Challenges
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Happy Holidays!”
I don’t know about you, but that’s how I’ve been signing all my emails for the last few weeks. It’s that time of year. It’s the time of year that’s all about being with family and being happy, warm, and bright. I know for me though, there are lots of times during this season where I feel anything but those things. For me, it often feels like I have to keep a mask up and act happy and excited because everyone else is, because that’s how I’m supposed to feel during the holidays. I’ve felt disconnected and like an outsider because I feel depressed and anxious (and honestly, angry that I’m feeling depressed and anxious) when I’m supposed to be feeling happy and thankful. On top of that, I’ve had endless relatives asking me how I am, what I’ve been doing, and what my plans are for the future. It makes me incredibly anxious because half the time I don’t know, and the other half of the time, it isn’t the right venue to say “actually, I’m really depressed and want to go cry in the corner.” Those two experiences combined have left me completely drained and exhausted after holiday gatherings and I might be unable to do anything else for days after.
I felt like I was the only one dealing with issues like that over the holidays. Obviously, I knew that people get stressed with cooking, cleaning, and otherwise getting ready to host. But, it seems at least, that once the prep is done, they are actually able to enjoy the party. I’m a science person, and it really helped me feel less isolated when I saw that a study conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness found that 64% of people with mental illness report that the holidays make it worse.
Here is my advice: First, self-care is important. If you burn yourself out putting on a mask or pretending you’re ok when you’re not then you will no longer to be able to do things that matter; whether for yourself or for others. Second, a lot of people have trouble over the holidays. If you notice someone struggling, it may help them for you to check in. In fact, famous Jews have been thinking about those concepts for a long time. In Pirkei Avot (The Ethics of Our Fathers), Hillel said, “If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?”.
The word Chanukah translates to “dedication.” Which makes sense as part of what we celebrate is the rededication of the temple. So as we celebrate this year, let us also rededicate ourselves to our values. Take care of yourself. Reach out to others. Act now.
Here are a few Temple Isaiah event that bring may bring calm and connection :
• Every Friday at 12pm, WOI Connects Women Living Alone
• Every Saturday at 2pm, Sacred Chant Healing Circle
• 12/6 and 12/13 at 10am, Neshamah Yoga
• 12/11 at 3:00pm, Mental Health Support for Adults
• Zoom Candle Lighting 12/25 (the last night) at 6pm.
• 12/26 at 7pm, Mental Health Support for Family Members
Other resources:
7 Strategies for holiday stress management/Newport Institute:
https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/holiday-stress-management/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NI_performancemax&utm_term=&kpid=go_cmp-17672242732_adg-_ad-__dev-c_ext-_prd-&gclid=Cj0KCQiA1ZGcBhCoARIsAGQ0kkpKGEBM-icAif77zz03bwFTO-_ivuESlUgLkP_UOollsX9n8ndXZxUaAl0eEALw_wcB
Stress, Depression and the Holidays/Mayo Clinic:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544