February 2023

Love and Growth
By Michaela Frydman

Ever since the secular New Year began, I’ve been seeing red everywhere I go. I’ve also been seeing pink, white, an abundance of teddy bears, balloons, and an increasing amount of chocolate candies. It’s official: Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Another (far less advertised) holiday coming up is Tu BiSh’vat. But what do Valentine’s Day, Tu BiSh’vat, and Mental Health have to do with one another?

In his article titled, “A Jewish Valentines Day”, Rabbi Benjamin Blech writes, “Love, for at least one of the major Talmudic Sages (Hillel), represents the ultimate mitzvah.” Rabbi Blech goes on to connect Valentine’s Day to the verse in Leviticus (19:18) which reads “love your neighbor as yourself”, placing emphasis on the importance of first loving ourselves before we can truly love others. To do this, Rabbi Blech offers several anecdotes that tell of people who treat others poorly because they dislike themselves, or stories where someone has complete understanding and respect for their personal value which helps them easily navigate their relationships in the world. Sadly, self-love and self-respect can be extremely challenging goalsfor some, especially those who suffer from the effects of mental illness or who were raised in environments where they were not allowed to fully explore their individual identities.

This is where the lessons and practices surrounding Tu BiSh’vat come in. The Rabbis of the Talmud established Tu BiSh’vat as being the new year of the trees [Tu BiSh’vat is one of four established “new years”, the other three being a new year for the Jewish calendar date (aka Rosh Hashanah), a new year for establishing the reign of kings, and a new year for tithing the animals of Jewish farmers to be given to the Temple]. Tu BiSh’vat is all about celebrating and respecting the growth of trees, but nothing is stopping us from also learning from this holiday about how to celebrate and respect our own personal growth. Like all living things, human beings are constantly growing and, just as we act as stewards caring for the trees, we must also care for ourselves.

There are many tools we can use to begin cultivating self-care on our personal journeys towards self-love and self-respect. One of the most important tools is mindfulness. When we take a sip of water when feeling parched, that’s an act of self-care. When we try new things, like attending a Tu BiSh’vat Seder at Temple Isaiah on February 6th, that’s an act of personal growth worthy of celebration. When we reach out to friends or family for comfort, or we place our trust in the members of a support group, that is also an act of self-care, personal growth, and one might even call it an act of self-love.

As we approach Tu BiSh’vat and Valentine’s Day, may we all be mindful of our growth. We are, all of us, worthy of love and respect, just as every tree on our planet is worthy of celebration (even if they’re not being marketed by Hallmark).

Rabbi Benjamin Blech’s Article:
https://aish.com/a_jewish_valentines_day/

Tu BiSh’vat 101 from My Jewish Learning:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/tu-bishvat-ideas-beliefs/

Mental Health Tu BiSh’vat Seder from The Blue Dove Foundation:
https://educator.jewishedproject.org/content/mental-health-tu-bishvat-seder